When I was
writing my book Normal to Noble in 2012 I constructed a timeline of
my life. I listed all of the things that
I felt were significant and placed a date beside it along with the duration of that
event. What a great exercise it was then
and now I am using it once again.
This week I have
the honor of addressing my alma mater Ferrum College at what’s called the
Executive in Residence program. I have
been asked to prepare a 30/45 minute key note address. The topic of the address is basically my life
and how I got to be at this podium.
While researching
for my speech I had remembered my timeline and reviewed it once again with
different objectives. I realized that
five significant events help to create the person I am today.
Those events
were attending college, meeting Dick Dearing, Dad dying, creating the Men’s Breakfast, and my son Matt’s birth.
At college I
faced challenges, made my own decisions, exercised independence and became
resourceful. Clearly a different person from the young man that entered as a freshman.
I met Dick
Dearing during my third career with WaterFurnace International. I was working a trade show and Dick needed
help on a large home he was building in Roanoke, Va. We spoke for hours and became friends. He shared with me his philosophy on tithing
and how it was working in his life. My
views on giving were forever changed that day.
My father died
in 1984 and rocked my world. Reviewing
my life after 1984, it looks as if I really started living after my father died. Reflecting on it now, it took my dad to die
for me to understand how to live better in this world. From that point on I solved things internally
as opposed to externally.
Afterwards I discovered my “voice”
as I call it. Listening to my internal
compass has led me on some significant adventures, the first was the creation
of the Men’s Breakfast at First Presbyterian Church in 1987. That
stint lasted every week for 14 years and significantly impacted my life! It was simply something that I was "called" to do.
After my son’s
miracle birth in 1993 the “voice” returned and led me to create The Robin Hoods
of Virginia Beach and eventually The Noblemen.
When someone close to you dies; it can actually create or destroy your own life. For me, the death of my Father allowed me to
live a fuller and more robust life.
Saving my son’s
life instead of aborting him at 22.5 weeks was the right decision that allowed me the life I enjoy now.
I encourage
those of you that are seekers to review your timeline so you better understand how
your life changes as significant instances occur in your life.
How you respond to the death of loved ones and your actions afterwards are up to you!
Do your best not to die a little bit but to live a little bit better and honor those that came before us!
NobleOne
being the eldest child in an alcoholic family is quite a challenge. I cannot remember any support or love growing up. when I look at home movies my mother has, I was acting like the mother and my parents were drinking beer and smoking cigarettes on the couch. this was very common after world war II and prior to the "post traumatic stress disorder" catch phrase. veterans from that war got no services or sympathy and just had to work and support their families no matter how damaged they were. all they had was alcohol to medicate their terrible pain. and the poor offspring of these damaged men paid a dear price. as a little girl I feared for my life and watched my father terrorize his wife and his 5 children. I watched him beat my brother and call him names and drive him to drug addiction in high school. watched my family leave their home as fast as their feet could take them. never had a family who loved me. still don't. but despite this pathetic upbringing, I raised four successful wonderful children. I married two alcoholics myself and had to deal this that nonsense. today I am 65 years old, still working as a nurse (of course a nurse, the child of alcoholic career of choice). I am still looking for love in all the wrong places....my family. still trying to be the good family member to a group of people that don't care. all sad but I am noble enough to fight the good fight...be there for my children who need a wonderful mom, that I am, and try and try again to find love in a damaged family system.
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