Being a Dad! (not the easiest of roles)

I have now been a Dad for over 21 years and still not convinced I did it right! 

My first decision on becoming a Dad was deciding whether or not it was the right thing to do!  My son had a 2% chance of surviving his own birth and it was up to me to allow him to try!  

Because of that decision my son took up his own fight and decided to beat the odds and grow up despite the odds and now faces the tough choices of becoming a man independent of his Dad.

My father and I were never what I would call close!  I loved and respected my Dad and appreciated his role in the world.  His generosity and love of his family allowed me to pursue whatever I felt capable of.  He was always there when I needed him and knowing that gave me confidence to grow up fairly independent.

 

My son Matt and I rarely have big father/son conversations.   I have had longer conversations with people I don’t know however my son knows who his Dad is and that he always has his back.   My preconceived notion of what our life would be never developed, however what did, suits me fine!

 

I have had the privilege of raising my son as well as several of his close friends that ended up in circumstances that were beyond their own control.   I love them all and do my best to help them when I can. 

   

I think great Dads as well as great sons and daughters come in all shapes in sizes.  Daily I get a chance to see my close friends becoming great Dads.   

Becoming a Dad truly is a big responsibility and my wish is that more would honor the gift!

Happy Father's Day to all the great Dads in this world. 

…and Matt I love you and being YOUR DAD has made me into the person I never expected to be!

NobleOne

Us or Them? (which are you?)

As a kid I guess I got damaged a bit by the fact that I was often the “last picked” when it came to choosing for teams.   Physically I was a little smaller than my peers and even though I was well liked, I was not thought to be as asset when it came to performing physically! 

 

I took up surfing and skateboarding where individually I was not judged or required to do a small part of a larger contingency!   Perhaps that is why I rarely watch team sports!

Growing up from time to time I would attend Catholic Church with one of my friends and found it odd that I was not allowed to take communion due to the fact that I was not Catholic.  It made me feel that I was a “bit lesser” of a person due to the fact that I was not a part of them!

I was quite active in my own church that was Presbyterian; however it was still quite clear there was a “in or out” feeling that was demonstrated if a person showed up that was not quite “like us.” 

  

Years ago I was watching a remake of the movie Flight of the Phoenix; a discussion came up about religion and one of the cast simply stated that he would not be involved in something where as he described it as an “Us and Them” characteristic.

It was though someone anointed me with one more nugget of wisdom.  Since that time I do my best to keep my eyes open and not to exercise this modality of being! 

Leading a fraternal organization allows me to notice when this rears its ugly head.  Early on I was told to beware of letting “any one” in as it would result in reputations being damaged and poor membership dynamics.

I’m proud to say that’s not “how we roll!” 

I cherish the lessons I have learned over the years and do my best to learn something new when situations appear that at first might feel awkward.

Every time I hear about a “them” I ponder why are they not a part of “us”

Enjoy your day!    

NobleOne

Opinions!

What do they say “opinions are like @$$holes, everyone has one!”  I think another way to describe people that like to give their opinions…gossip!  My take, if you want to give me your opinions, make sure it is an informed opinion! 

As we grow we become more aware to others and those others start to pay attention.  I consider it a good thing however it also comes with armchair quarterbacking, back room meetings and parking lot conversations that lead to disputes and damage reputations! 

Running a nonprofit is like operating your business through a picture window.  Everything can be seen at all times.  Because of that, our actions good or bad, garner praise and skepticism.  

Years ago at one of our early Robin Hood meetings we had a member that wanted to “vent.” I could see the energy leaving the room as this gentlemen continued his uninformed rant.  I decided at that time that negativity would not be introduced at meetings and the policy moving forward would be this…please place you negative comments in a letter and send to us via mail.  (stamp not necessary)  

I  understand that I do not live in a perfect world however I do my best to control want I can. 

·         I welcome folks that want to meet with me and want to talk about how to make things better.
·         I embrace new ideas from leaders that want to work inclusively to grow the organization.
·         I welcome new members as well as old ones back that want to make a positive impact on their lives as well as others.
·         I enjoy hearing about creative ways to make as well as save money!
·         I like to smile and make others smile around me

·         I need to stop saying “I” and change it to “We”

It is my opinion that you all should have a great day and keep it to yourself J

NobleOne

If someone could tell you your future, would you want to know?

Several years ago I attended a Halloween party for charity with my good friend Paul.  I am not a fan of dress up parties however, Paul and I have ready to go costumes that works for the both of us!  Robin Hood and Friar Tuck!

 

At the entrance we were invited to either have our palm's read or sit down with a fortune teller.  The price was $20 and for charity, I chose the future!

  

Claudette was her name and she asked me if I would sit beside her and hold her hand.  She took for a few moments to relax and then began to share with me her thoughts.  I listened and she talked.  I can say now it was a few moments in my life that is still etched in my soul.  

The next day I found her information and decided to send her an e-mail of thanks.  I simply stated “thanks for opening up a window.”  She called me back several days later.  Funny thing, she never got my e-mail but was compelled to call me and ask me for a favor.

I picked up Claudette the following day and we went to work on a missing girl case together in Charlottesville Va. 

I instinctively knew I should take this trip and strangely enough my schedule allowed it to happen.  We never found the girl however I spent 8 hours with someone that I sincerely believe has gifts that most people don’t possess or even believe in.

I am currently reading Ginny Zapar Cohen’s recently published book Talabarske, a true story about two brothers escaping the Ukraine during WWII.  The wife of one of the brothers encounters a blind gypsy (fortune teller) that tells her that everything will eventually be alright and to be strong.  She was foretold that she and her family would make it and not to give up and never return to her home.  For whatever reason this wisdom was not questioned, almost as if she knew this lady spoke the truth.

Here is the fascination for me.   The gypsy stated that she possessed both a gift and a curse of "knowing things" and was compelled to share information with the young lady who at the time NEEDED to hear that prophesy.  Almost word for word is what Claudette shared with me on that ride to Charlottesville several years ago.   I remember she looked at me and then asked “do you want to know about your life?”  I decided I did not, however not before she looked at me and smiled and assured me everything was going to be alright and maybe a bit better than that!

As I think back to that adventure, perhaps the day in part was not dedicated to finding a lost girl, but a gift to assure me that my path was true.  

I am so fortunate that I pay attention to what the world has to offer me.  Time and time again I get validation for the things that catch my attention.  The key is to “act.” I continue to call Claudette my friend and she continues to look after me and others. 

There are so many miracles available to all of us and I am  glad I have decided to believe in them!

NobleOne

Is your house a home?

I’m sure you have heard the expression “nothing like coming home”

Currently I live in a home and I call it that because I like living here!  There are always projects and ways to make it a better home.  Someone worked very hard before me however left me with plenty to do.   Some time in the future I will give this gift to someone else. 

Real estate is potentially a wonderful thing.  It offers a true return on investment and a whole lot less risk than some other ventures many are tempted to try. 

The way I see it, you have to live somewhere why not make some money and create a habitat that enhances your life.  A gift that can give back in so many ways. 

My wife and I found our farm about 14 years ago.  I remember the weekend we decided to check it out.  Every particle of my soul said this is your next home and guess what?  My soul was right and we moved in and called it Sherwood Farms.  

We raised our son Matt and several wayward teens along with him.  Also a Labrador named Allie who is now buried next to my office.  We have enjoyed the lives of many horses honored with the privilege of caring for them and having them return the favor. 

My wife discovered her true self and has become quite the horse whisperer and connects daily with all things outdoors.  

We have accomplished several significant projects that will serve this parcel of land and me for decades to come. 

We have hosted weddings, held benefits for close friends, and even made a few enemies to balance everything out. 

Sherwood Farms has changed my life and the lives of so many others and now we come to  a crossroad! Tomorrow we will meet a potential buyer.

If they love it, Marge and I will embark on a new adventure.  If they don't,  then Back Bay will have to enjoy the Midgetts a while longer

...and we will enjoy tomorrow as we strive to do every day! 

NobleOne

This “TED” Talked to me!

“Speak softly, and carry a big stick” was Theodore Roosevelt’s foreign policy!  I am happy to say that the “Big Stick” part is still firmly in place!  Not to sure about the "speak softly." 

Last week I was honored to be “tail hooked” on the CVN 71 Theodore Roosevelt along with 11 other businessmen selected to learn and then tell our contacts just how fine a Navy we have in place!

Here are some things that I learned and now know!!

Our 26^th President was an amazing man and I am compelled to learn more about him!

A skilled mechanic on board can change out the jet engine in a F18 in three hours!

The steel deck is 30 inches thick (and still makes one hell of a bang when a plane lands)

A plane can land and leave every minute and that can go on for 24 hours!

5000 sailors in one place committed to one task is a mighty force indeed!

CVN71 stands for "C" Aircraft Carrier "V" Fixed wing "N" Nuclear

I know what it feels like to go from 0 – 150 mph in 3 seconds (and reverse)

Popeye resides on the bulkhead

You never want to pull a "Zimmerman" (private joke) 

There is no alcohol on board

Theodore Roosevelt was once considered a “wimp” until he kicked some guy's ass in a bar!

You need good knees if you live on board

I don’t want to join the Navy

I have never been more proud to be an American! 

NobleOne

Love or Fear, no other options!

Many years ago I read that there were really just two emotions and those were Love and Fear.   It was an interesting notion for me that I quickly challenged intellectually!

I considered other emotions like "pissed off", jealousy, envy, sadness, and slowly understood that all were versions of fear and could not fit into the description of Love.

  

Fear is the emotion of being uninformed or unplugged.  It can exhibit frustration and lead to lots of other emotions however its roots are always pointed at fear.   Overall I would tie fear to anxiety.  I often get anxious when I don’t prepare or get caught in a situation that I have yet to figure out a solution to.  It is all rooted in fear!

Now let’s consider love, an emotion with endless possibilities and meanings.  When true love exists there in a sense of tranquility whether or not it is dealing with a person or a state of existing. 

My friend John Koehler talks of "agape love" which is often translated as “unconditional love.”  This is “no holds barred” love and awesome to witness.   It truly demonstrates an unrestricted emotion that triumphs every day!

I don't think this is an easy world to live in for anyone.  I am constantly bombarded by new challenges and right and left turns.  Understanding this simple nugget of wisdom is powerful for me.   I continue to challenge its authenticity and to date it still rings as a foundational truth. 

Controlling my emotions and understanding how my world works is priceless.  So much time can be wasted pursuing senseless emotions and a misunderstanding of messages sent from countless sources.

Sharing what I have learned helps me fill back up my cup.  There is a time for learning and a time for practicing what you learn.  As your skills increase they become a part of who you are.

Great wisdom can be learned simply by studying water.  When new opportunities are present water can envelope them or go around.  It can also be one of the most powerful energies in our world. 

When you encounter new opportunities in your life consider your reactions.  Love the fact that you have new choices and don’t be fearful of new paths to explore! 

NobleOne