Got a grievance, now what?

For whatever reason, this year has presented me with the opportunity to be “pissed off” at quite a few folks. 

…and I also know there are two sides to every story! 

What I started to observe was the misery I was attracting to myself by talking about how I/we were wronged.  Also how "someone else" is going to be responsible for making it right!

Harboring a grievance allows you to say “I am right and You are wrong.”  In the end there will be no winners! 

Consider this…in everyday life when a friend or perhaps a stranger confronts you with a right or wrong situation, what is the outcome?

Example, Why did you? / How come you? It immediately puts most people into a combative or defensive mode.  Rarely do you state “you know you are right, and I am wrong.”

I seemed to have forgotten what I learned at Ferrum College in my Assertiveness Training class.  Seek ways to discover how all conversations end in “win win” scenarios. 

Life is too short to allow negatively to enter into your life.  It truly can be cancerous to your health and to your relationships with others. 

There is always a high road and I plan to stay on that highway!

Be Noble!

NobleOne

Sometimes it’s as simple as walking your dog!

We have a young Labrador retriever that still has a bit of curiosity in him.  A great dog however still working on perfection! 

We are early risers and so is Marlin. (our dog)

Marlin starts his day traveling down our lane going to see his best friend Rosabelle.  Rosabelle is my cousin Willard’s dog that lives a short distance away directly on Back Bay. 

Marlin usually goes for a quick swim and a short play session and then comes home ready to start his duties with Marge and the horses.

 

Lately he has started wandering to the other end of our road and checking things out.  He would go “missing” and that is not a good thing!

I hated not letting him out, so Marge and I decided to give him a better option.  We started to take an early walk and make sure Marlin was a big part of it. 

In no time, Marlin refused to wander far in the morning because he knew we would be walking soon, and he was not going to miss out on that!

I have learned over time that discipline doesn’t always work, sometimes you just need to offer a better option! 

The return on investment…

My wife and I enjoy a wonderful walk in the county catching up with everything that’s going on in our lives and observing “all” kinds of nature happening around us. 

You see we live in southern Va. Beach and it’s untarnished by all of the stuff that happens at the other end of this great town.

The second one of us starts the process of putting on our shoes or shorts, our dog Marlin is in full I want to go, I want to go, I want to go, mode!

If my day starts with a dog and a woman that loves me…taking a walk down a quiet road…watching the corn grow…

it’s gonna be a good day!

NobleOne

Painful doses of life, a necessary prescription!

It's been three months since my last weekly blog interestingly titled "Growing through Pain and Suffering."

If you believe in the power of attraction, don't write a blog about something you don't want to attract in you life!

Over the last three months, I have had my eyes opened, my heart broken, lost good friends, my trust jeopardized and my soul questioned!

Not an easy journey and not one I want to have very often.

I am still in one piece however a little older, wiser and I'm afraid not all the way through it.

Lately I have been saying "you don't know what you don't know."

Well today I know a bit more, however not close to knowing enough.

I have to say I plan on waiting for my return on investment.  You know the cliche' everything happens for a reason.

I am digging deep to discover why new wrinkles need ironing however not judging the process or the roots of the wrinkles.

I enjoy writing this blog and felt a bit empty not corresponding to those that follow the stuff I think about.

It's time for next steps and I look forward to new challenges and growth.

It is my hope that all of you recognize the necessary prescriptions in your life and you don't overdose!

NobleOne

Growing through Pain and Suffering

On a daily basis my goal is to be happy and to make others happy around me.  Not a bad goal, however there are times when “happy” seems a bit far away!

Life simply serves you up all kinds of realities that you have to deal with based on your resources at hand.  You are directly responsible for some and others have nothing to do with you. 

A book I am reading right now by Timothy Keller, Walking with God through Pain and Suffering uses the analogy that pain and suffering is like walking through a fiery furnace and being molded by the experience or consumed by the flames. 

Consider this…have you ever met someone truly interesting or fascinating that has not endured some sort of unique pain and suffering?

I guess the wisdom here it to “know” it’s coming and decide not to judge it when it does.  Grow through it.

When dealing with opportunities in your life!  Live in the moment, experience the new reality and see how time treats it. 

Look back at your life and remember the trials you have faced and understand that today’s actions and deeds will be the fabric of your memories tomorrow.

At the end of it all, do your best to be the “example” and not the lesson to learn!

NobleOne

Seeking inspiration from a bowling ball!

Yesterday I visited the new DAV Thrift store on General Booth Blvd and found this bowling ball for $4.98.  You might ask, Al, why a bowling ball?

Three years ago Pete Hansen and I watched the movie Fat Sick and Nearly Dead and decided to juice for two months in order to lose weight.

One of the visuals I took away from the movie, a man measured his weight loss by bowling balls.  For every 10 lbs he placed another bowling ball on the rack.  

It stuck with me!

I know I am probably the only one that used additional food to get through “snowmageddon.”  So very soon I plan to lose my winter bowling ball!

How ‘bout you?

NobleOne

The Promise of the Dragonfly!

Winter is simply a tough season when you own a farm.  When temperatures drop below freezing the opportunity to get water to everybody and everything becomes the challenge of each day!

When the weather eventually turns warmer, the bugs return and the worse ones start out the season first. 

I remember when we moved out to the county 15 years ago and being attacked by the dreaded “may fly” in my driveway.  I researched everything from putting blue tape on buckets to mosquito zone. 

…and eventually the dragonflies emerged.  Such wonderful creatures with no agenda but to look cool fly awesome and consume bad bugs! 

The dragonfly is the beginning of balance of life on the farm.  I can truly appreciate the sun, warm water, boat rides to Blue Pete’s and sup’n on Back Bay since I endured the opposite during the winter months.

I consider this one more lesson to learn about life.  It simply is not cake and ice cream all the time.  

In order to enjoy the peaks of life you have to have spent some time in the valleys.   How can you enjoy true happiness unless you have experienced sincere sadness?

I feel allowing this balance to occur in your life without judgment leads to life’s true wisdom!

Grow during your pain and suffering and celebrate when the sun begins to shine again!

NobleOne

You don't know what you don't know!

How can you move forward when you don’t know what you don’t know?  You can’t pursue the goal if you are not aware that it even exists!

Some folks have no idea what they are capable of because they have no idea that it could be available to them.

It’s funny how one day or action by another can open a door that you are not aware even existed.

It doesn't necessarily have to change the world, however it can start a new direction that gains momentum and eventually becomes something completely different.

The exercise is to "remain open to everything and attached to nothing" so says my friend Wayne Dyer.

I find it refreshing to learn something new and immediately place it in my life and live just a little different because of it!

So today keep both eyes open, your heart full and intentionally don’t predict how your day will emerge! 

NobleOne

It amazes me what people can do for people!

I heard a holocaust survivor make this statement about the folks that held him hostage and later changed his soul. 

At 14 no child should endure what he did and today he talks to anyone and everyone about preventing this type of atrocity to ever be repeated.

He traveled back to Germany and was embraced and encouraged to live out his life with this mission.

He made the statement in the radio interview “It is amazing what people can do for people.”  Truly a powerful statement when you consider his life, it struck me to the core.

One person can truly change a life of another, a tremendous responsibility and perhaps a burden.  A powerful notion to be sure!

If you examine your life you will recognize the ripples that turned to waves and the waves that turned to ripples.  You cannot judge the moment with the ability of hind sight!

Every day you have the opportunity to respond to someone’s life.  Be authentic and consider how your actions will play out over time!

We all possess the opportunity to make a difference in other’s lives.  Wisdom offers the insight not to judge.  History will do that for us!

When the story is finally told hopefully you will be the good part!

NobleOne

Dying, everyone is doing it!

Over the holidays I lost a few friends and attended their funerals. 

…and like everything else in my life I asked the questions?  Could we be doing this better?

I have yet to meet the person that figured out how to live forever.  So consider this…if you were born…you are gonna die!

Why not think about how you want to go out.  Do you want all your friends and family to meet at the local church (that you may or may not have attended) or a funeral home and have someone talk about you, talk about your salvation along with everyone else’s in the room.

Why do we mourn others deaths?  

What are your wishes?  

Do you wish for people to be sad at your funeral?  

Is it the role of your funeral to introduce everyone to religion? 

It appears to me that a great deal of folks don’t want to deal with the planning of their own funeral.  

So are you planning to leave that responsibility to someone else?  Really? 

Most seem to go with the boiler plate ceremony where your name is placed in the program and you or your family pick out a few hymns and one of your kids or friends tells sad stories.  We are all then asked to consider our own salvation and pray to whatever or whoever’s religion is represented at the funeral.

Consider this, if it rains on the day of your funeral, 60% of the people won’t show. 

People that are compelled to attend a funeral are most likely linked significantly to the person that has recently passed away.

I think a funeral should be as unique as the person that passed away.  It ought to be an expression of that person’s life or what they lived for. 

Why give up the last opportunity to go out with a bang or with some class!  Why not plan something different and memorable now.  Give your survivors a real memory and an imprint of your life.  Celebrate a life well lived! 

I would ask that you at least consider the road less traveled and don’t be a “me too” and do what other's think you should.   This world needs a little shaking up and changing the way funerals/celebrations are conducted could be just what’s needed!

What say you? 

NobleOne

We need to retreat in order to advance!

I enjoy doing things on my own however, I have found that some of the big stuff requires more than me!

This weekend I am preparing to travel south in order to spend time with a dozen folks that are willing to plan for the future.  Not an easy task!

Big ideas, past issues, leadership, membership, survival ship all get thrown about.

It all starts out with a big meal (and a few libations) speeches are made and testimonies are prevalent.  Perhaps this year we might write some of it down or  not!

The next day we get down to business...

Retreating to the Outer Banks allows us to back away from day to day and focus on a year.  The return on investment is…

            We understand next steps and how they will be measured

            Our message is tell-able and share-able

            Our budget matches our intentions

        Priceless!  

If you are having trouble advancing perhaps it’s time to retreat!  This world does not allow anyone a rocket ride!  It’s all accomplished with “baby steps.” 

Five steps forward /Five steps back/Five steps forward/Five steps back/Five steps forward/41/2 steps back----hooray!

Enjoy each day and understand your path; however take it one step at a time!

NobleOne

Whoa 20 years ago...

A dozen guys met at my house on 43^rd street  in 1995 and decided to attempt to make a difference!

After my son Matt made a decision to break all odds and survive with a 2% chance of living the next miracle would be to convince a few of my closest friends to change our world.

It was Joe Thatcher that suggested we start with a Halloween Party, actually one he had planned for himself.

RHVB (Robin Hoods of Virginia Beach) started that night and later became all that we are today!

There was no grand plan, only to start out with good intentions and act on them one at a time.

…now 20 years later we are still working on one good intention at a time however possessing an infrastructure of amazing folks that have found common ground and combined purpose.

Have you ever had something on your mind that you just couldn't shake?  Thoughts that took many different shapes and sizes however were all connected? 

I knew 20 years ago that this needed to take place however I had no guidance to the how and the what, I only knew the why! 

Today the fabric of who I am has been seamed together over these 20 years.  

Knowing you are pursuing what you feel you were put on this earth to do is a powerful thing.

I’m confident the next 20 years will be awesome however I will take them one at a time!

1995 - 2015 

One awesome "dash" 

NobleOne

In 2015 I resolve to...

It’s already started… the commercials, Facebook posts, the gym ads and promises to lose 10 lbs in a week!

How ‘bout you?  Is this your year?  Will it be different that the previous 50? (less or more)  

True changes are rare and typically require a life changing moment i.e. heart attack, divorce, marriage, or rock bottom!

 Pick one or add one!

Here are the stats...

1) About 8% of people are successful in achieving their new years resolutions 

2) 25% of those who make them don’t even make it past the first week

3) 34% of those resolutions are related to money

It is however fun to think about change and I think it is wonderful to watch someone else “step up” and “go big.”

As I approach 2015 I am considering these things…

Am I happy?  Is my family happy?  (in that order) What resources are needed to improve on those first two goals? 

Earn the right every day to continue to lead The Noblemen and step away when I don’t!

Pay my bills or readjust my priorities.

Live healthy today and do my best to achieve it tomorrow.

Be thankful for my blessings and pay them forward whenever the opportunity presents itself.

Celebrate the connection to divinity and continue to “pay attention” for inspiration.

Dream Big!

My best to all of you and may you continue to enjoy your path in life.

NobleOne