Funerals!

Have you ever attended a funeral and you just wished it could have been more of a celebration?

I have attended a few funerals in my day and rarely do I feel that a lifetime is summed up properly. 

I love the moments of reflections from families and friends. 

I love to hear the songs that defined the person’s life. 

I enjoy the pictures and videos made to celebrate a life.

Perhaps there is a way to change the old traditions. ..Garth Brooks sings about the “dash” which represents the space on your tombstone.   1957 - ????  How is your dash coming along?

Consider planning a celebration of your “dash”; involve your friends and family before someone else makes those decisions for you!  

It is my opinion a funeral (not sure I would still call it that) should take place wherever the person wants to have it.  A field, farm, beach, restaurant or concert hall.

Put a person in charge that you know can get it done the way you want it.

If you are a religious person by all means involve your church and clergy.  If not, then celebrate the way you lived your life.  Be authenic! 

Create a folder and start planning now, the reflection will be healthy and inspiring!

Many years ago I attended the funerals of Bob Wareing and his Dad John Wareing (Wareings Gym).  I laughed; I cried and enjoyed celebrating two men that lead impactful lives.  We gathered at the VB Convention Center.  I’m not sure there was a minister present however there were many prayers given and it was truly a most memorable event.  Simply deserved a “well done” from me!

Chris Shaughnessy just pasted away, a good friend and accomplished Realtor.  His buddy got up in church and asked if everyone would turn their cell phones ON, Chris would not want anyone to miss a deal at his funeral.  That was cool, made me smile and think of my good friend Chris.

Several of my friends have committed to allowing me to plan their celebration of their passing, providing I don’t go first!  What an extreme honor for me!

I don’t know about you guys; I plan to go out big!  Go Big of Go Home!

And no guilt!

NobleOne

The Noblemen are not a Church

However, I think there is a lot of “Church” in The Noblemen.  

As a kid I grew up in Virginia Beach and attended First Presbyterian Church with my family @ 36^th and Pacific Ave.  Sunday School and Church every Sunday and then to Nicks Restaurant for lunch.

I taught senior high Sunday school, ushered, served on the Session and hosted the Men’s Breakfast every Tuesday for 14 years. 

I guess the reason I tell you this is simply because it validates me to talk about why I no longer attend church regularly.  Funny thing, every time I take my Mom to church and attend on special occasions, I am always asked, "where do you attend church now?" as if there were no options!

In a nut shell, for me, the greatest thing about church was the people that I got to know.  Over the many years I met and was mentored by great men and women who shared a part of their lives with me and me with them.

On the subject of “God” I would have to say that “God” resides inside of me and not just in the church.  If I go to church then I bring God there with me.  I rarely get inspired by sermons or lessons and sometimes get turned off by the “us and them” attitudes.   

Quiet times, meditations, long runs, and spending time on the water allow me to “tap in” to the “God” in me.  I am so blessed to know this relationship and for its “rudder” in my life.

I founded The Noblemen to enjoy the best parts of church, a gathering of men or women that have fun and collectively use their resources to “give back”.  Quite frankly I admire the churches that are active in the community and use the synergy of their members to do great deeds in their communities.

The return on investment is like no other.  The satisfaction you receive by saving kids. And changing lives is hard to beat.

I had breakfast with a member the other day and he shared with me that that one of the reasons he attends Noblemen meetings are to get the things accomplished that he wished his church would do. 

Please understand I love what the church offers and I consider it to be a part of what makes the world go around, however, it simply is not for everyone!

Perhaps our motto should be The Noblemen, We meet on Monday’s not Sunday’s or The Noblemen, a great Church with less guilt and no worship! 

Upcoming blog… My views on Funerals!

NobleOne

10 Secrets I stole from Wayne Dyer

I have bought this book and given it away many times!  Take a moment to reflect what these secrets mean to you…

Have a mind that is open to everything and attached to nothing…

Don’t die with the music still inside you…

You can’t give away what you don’t have…

Embrace silence…

Give up your personal history…

You can’t solve a problem with the same mind that created it…

There are no justified resentments…

Treat yourself as if you already are what you would like to be…

Treasure your divinity…

Wisdom is avoiding all things that weaken you…

These are from 10 Secrets for Success and Inner Peace by Dr. Wayne Dyer

I first read this book over 10 years ago and shared its wisdom with so many of my friends that, like me were searching for a more powerful way to lead their lives.

I feel the secrets are more helpful if you just consider then one by one and ponder what they mean to you. 

I would love to see your comments as to which ones are your favorites and take you to a place of  “Oh yea, I get that”

NobleOne

The Power of a Good Decision

Problem is…good decisions require courage and rarely the easiest choice!   

Usually a big decision has history and argues with you a little or a lot every day.   

Call it what you want, I call mine “that little voice.”   Your best resource resides inside, pay attention to how you feel about it. 

A good decision can empower you to do great things however you first need to DECIDE.  You simply have to be all in!  The universe supports great decisions and will amaze you with the right resources at the right time.    

I personally feel we are all here for a reason however it is damn tough to figure it out.  A good decision lets you know that this is a step in the right direction. 

What have you been thinking about? 

What would you be doing if money was not an issue?

What steps could you take to greatly improve your health? 

What is the difference you could make it you decided to “jump in?”

I read today that a mother was told to abort her child due to complications of appendicitis; she was told that her child would have disabilities.  She refused!  Her son grew up to be Andrea Bocelli.

I had to make that decision almost 20 years ago and now have a son that inspired me to find my path in life!  A good decision for sure!

Making a good decision is kind of like exercising.  As you make good decisions, you are better fit to make them again and recognize them as so.    You experience the good ones and resist making the bad ones!   

I encourage all of you to give some quiet time dedicated to decisions that you are yet to make and consider making them. 

People that make good decisions are more fun to be around, so do us all a favor and make a few!  

NobleOne

Pushing the Rope

Have you ever started down a path and instinctively knew it was destined for failure?  

Years ago while serving on the board for the Hilltop YMCA, I came up with the idea (that I stole from Dick Nottingham) to hold “Corporate Olympics”.  Local businesses could sign up teams and compete against each other in various sports that could be orchestrated at the YMCA.

I simply thought it was a good idea and I held meeting after meeting, receiving little enthusiasm or support.  My “ego” would not let it go. 

Does that resonate with anyone else?

When I finally did recognize that my "ego" was driving it and became "aware" that people were supporting it only because I asked them to.   It became apparent that it was not the “time” for this idea and I was essentially trying to “push a rope." 

It is much easier to hold on to a rope that is being pulled vs. trying to push a rope in any direction.

Great ideas will pull you along and you simply need to hold on.   The “right” people will appear in your life that believe in your idea and resources will appear to support it. 

It truly amazes me the power of a great idea!

I call these “nobleisms."  Life lessons that I practice.  I have found that when you “pay attention” to these lessons you “grow” and allow yourself to move forward down your path in life. 

Grasping the concept of “pushing the rope” allows me to quickly notice energy dedicated to the wrong initiatives and that is a wonderful thing!

NobleOne

Three Black Labs

I love a lab in my life! 

 

When I married my wife 24 years ago, she already had a daughter, Allie a wonderful Black Labrador Retriever.   

Labs have so many endearing qualities; however they each seem to have their own eccentricities. 

Allie was given to my wife by a close friend, Sonny Stallings.  He purchased her from Marvin Frazee.  

Marvin Frazee was the local lab whisperer always letting you know how to raise a good lab.  You never saw Marvin without this three black labs accompaning him in his beat up old white pick up truck. 

Marvin would tell ya" the secret to raising a great lab is spending every waking moment with your dog and taking him/her everywhere you go".  Not always an easy task however it does yield great results. 

Allie was simply our family, everyone on 43^rd street knew Allie, including guests/staff of the Cavalier Hotel across the street, Allie’s alternate dining establishment. 

When Allie passed away she died like an old elephant, wandered off never to be found again. 

Lesson learned – if you own a lab, you don't need to surround yourself with fine furniture and expensive rugs.  Allie as a pup reconstructed our dining room tables’ legs and the fringes of our only valuable oriental rug.   

Our second lab came along after our son Matthew was born.  We bought her from Buzzy Cason in Carova for $50.  The other dog’s parent was Bob Romano “the beast” also of Carova.  Carova NC is tailor made for a lab, plenty of water and wide open spaces.

Allie is the name my son chose for our #2 lab.  Made sense to me, why change!  We brought her home to our house on 43^rd street and it was difficult.  Too restricted for a lab puppy, however when we moved to Back Bay, Allie showed us her true colors.  

A five acre horse farm at the end of a county road surrounded by water is simply a gift to a Labrador Retriever. 

Allie was an instant hit with the horses, especially my wife’s Appaloosa named Eddie who didn’t like to go anywhere without Allie taking the lead. 

Our second lab lived for 12 years and gave us more love than any person is capable of.  She is buried next to my office.

Lesson learned – If you let Allie out late at night she would always get into trouble.  Too many interesting critters come out at night and most are not good for you to play with! 

Our latest lab installment was a gift from a friend that could no longer care for the needs of an overly energetic one year old lab puppy!  Marlin was his name, our first male lab!

Marlin, appropriately named after a Black Marlin, both love the open water.    When Marlin was introduced to our farm, he was surprisingly well-mannered for a puppy.  My wife took him on a walk and introduced him to the canal and love was discovered.  The dog took a glance and the next moment was airborne launching four big paws and a whole bunch of enthusiasm into Back Bay.  Marlin had found his new home and the Midgett’s their next lab!

Years ago I worked for G.R. Schell, who headed up Schell Supply a division of Ferguson Enterprises.  We shared many conversations about how a company should and could be run better.  He never hesitated to share his wisdom with me, whether or not I cared to hear about it!  G. R. was overtly fond of his Golden Retriever.  

He told me that there were three kinds of retrievers in this world.

#1  Golden Retriever - a dog that you treat with love and respect and that is what you get in return, love and respect!

#2 Labrador Retriever – a dog you love however keep a 2 X 4 available when they get hard headed.

#3 Chesapeake Bay Retriever – a dog you can love if you want and always keep a 4 x 4 available!

He would then end the analogy by stating I reminded him of a Chesapeake Bay Retriever! 

I don’t agree with G.R. other than the fact the return on investment for the love you give your lab cannot be matched anywhere! 

 

I look forward to the new lessons that I learn from Marlin and welcome  him to our farm and family! 

Are you gonna eat that whole sandwich? 

 

NobleOne

 

 

 

A Gathering of Men

Yesterday I attended the 37^th annual Hunter’s Feast in Knotts Island, NC.  Thousands of men gathering in everything from Carhartt to Camo.   Local legends serving up a variety of deliciousness from brisket to bourbon on the banks of Back Bay. 

It simply amazes me that so many men can gather enjoying libations, cigars, and buckets of good food in the company of great friends, (all men) and no incidents or arguments.  (barely)

In 1985 I was involved in an investment club of men.  We called ourselves the Taurus Societas.  In order to raise money we held a large New Year’s Eve Party that was quite memorable.   We never made any significant money however I will always remember the friendships and the power of a gathering of men.

In 1987 I founded the First Presbyterian Men’s Breakfast.  Six of us would gather @ 6:00 in the morning and cook for 30 plus men every Tuesday for 14 years.  That’s over 700 breakfasts and a lifetime of wonderful stories and growth from a gathering of men. 

It was 1993 when I was inspired to create my next and current gathering of men.  My friends and family supported my wife and me when we faced tough odds of losing our first and only son Matthew. 

In response to that and my way of balancing the gift, I founded The Robin Hoods of Virginia Beach (now The Noblemen) in 1995, initially a gathering of 12 men that has now grown to hundreds serving the community and making lifetime friendships. 

 

It is an honor and a privilege to invest your time and talent in something that returns to you lifetime friends and life changing experiences. 

Note to Women – a close friend and NobleWoman once stated “men and women process things differently”.   I applaud all women and very thankful for the gathering of NobleWomen that are an integral part of The Noblemen.  Meeting separately allows us both to focus on the mission of the gathering.

NobleOne