Figure it out, don't call me!

Would you consider this good advice?  

I recently attended a Global Leadership Conference and the leader of the conference, Bill Hybels of Willow Creek Church told the story of his father putting him plane/train when he was 11 years old and telling him to go skiing in Colorado and gave him this advice “figure it out, don’t call me.”  (btw it seemed to work well for him) 

It sounded a bit stupid to me when I first heard it however it does make a good point for a teaching lesson.  If you are faced with a challenge and you have no one to call, you better figure it out, or suffer the consequences.  

Consider the times in your life when you were left alone to figure it out on your own.  Did you learn something from it?  You bet you did.  Good or bad, those experiences shape your character as well as your confidence.

When you own the experience and do not rely on others to help you get there…those are your moments. 

Perhaps giving that advice to a 11 year old is a bit extreme, however I’ll admit I am enjoying the fact that I get called less and can clearly see my son is figuring it out.

For the longest time I considered parenting a lifetime job!  I am now taking care of my parent, perhaps the responsibilities change and the duty remains. 

The lifetime job is loving both roles!  

Life is truly a circle and a grand challenge to remain balanced!  

What do you need to figure out? 

Don't call me! 

Nobleone

Why be happy?

Because it sucks when your not!  As I get ready to turn 57 I am becoming quite confident that my number one goal is to be happy and to make others happy as well!

You can’t help to smile when you see someone else that is happy.  Guess what?   It's even better when you are the one that is!

I watched a TED Talk (ideas worth sharing) recently by a teenager that decided along with his parents he would pursue an education that made him happy.  He focused on those subjects that made him feel good inside.  Those that instinctively felt right to learn about.  What a novel thought!

If I am in the position to hire someone, I think one very important criteria is…are ya happy?  It is more productive and simply a better work environment when you surround yourself with those folks that decide that they are gonna lead a happy life!

Years ago a very popular song became a phenomena when Bobby Ferrin introduced  Don’t Worry Be Happy.  Today latest sensation is Pharrell’s hit single Happy.  If you have not done so, play those songs and listen intently to the words!  

Could life be that simple?  When I set my goals many years ago I don't think being happy was one of them.  It simply wasn't my focus. 

Why?  I pay attention to the folks around me and trust me I hang around a lot of folks.  There is no motivation what so ever to camp out with those that make decisions to hurt others and inflict pain. 

What makes you happy could be vastly different than what makes me happy however that’s what makes the world go round. 

Give yourself the gift of being happy and your greatest gift to your family and friends is you achieving that goal! 

It is difficult to be happy when those close to you are not! 

NobleOne

Why I married my bartender!

When some folks leave work they often stop by a favorite watering hole to have one or perhaps two cold libations prior to going home.  Why is that?

Some folks don’t have a family at home and after a big day you just need to hangout with someone that will listen and serve you that 5:00 PM necessity!

Who remembers the lady behind the bar that knew your troubles, laughed at your stories and didn't ask too many questions?  

Who really sets the tone @ the great watering holes?

You got it…the bartender! 

…and I married mine!

And for the last 25 years I have had a best friend that listens and does her part to make things work.  She is no stranger to hard work or useless drama.  

Our marriage has certainly had its ups and downs, however year to date we both still feel we have a large life in front of us. 

I don’t claim to possess the secrets of a successful marriage, however I did put some time into my decision.

…and it turned out to be a good one! 

...is that for me? 

NobleOne

Envy, we all have it!

Wikipedia states that envy is the resentment caused by another person having something that one does not have, but desires for oneself.

There is rarely a time in my life that I am not flirting with Envy!  I guess I can blame Facebook for some of it! 

How many times have you looked at other’s post and silently confessed to yourself, you wish you were doing that! 

For me, I just ratify the feelings with I have hundreds of friends on Facebook and surely “some” are doing cooler things than me right now!

It is quite simple to see greener grass somewhere else other than your own back yard.  Recently I had the opportunity to spend time in that yard and guess what I found out?

I like the color of my own grass!  Simply walking in other's greener pastures, I often find things I should not step in!  It was a good dose of a life lesson.

I have often said “Normal people are simply people that you don’t know well.”  It is so simple to capture a single moment out of someone else’s life and be envious of that moment!  Understand however we all have a large deposit of those types of moments!  You are simply observing someone else’s good times!  …and good on them for having them!

Choose to celebrate with others in their good times and enjoy their good fortune alongside of them.  You simply don’t know what the rest of their day is going to be like or their life for that matter!

I learned a big lesson many years ago!  You become what you pursue! 

I choose to focus on assets that allow me to grow as a person and attract them into my life.  I have discovered that what I treasure most are the things I can give away to others.

I guess the only advice that I can give to myself and others is “when envy is on your radar screen, choose a larger perspective.”  The broader view often points out a more realistic reality that you just might not be so envious of!

If envy persists, then make a decision to change the direction of your life and pursue the goals that make you more of a complete person.  The emptiness inside is the purveyor of need and want!

NobleOne

Rome was not built in a day!

How many times do you watch something in amazement and contemplate, how in the world did?  Luck and timing are typically my first responses however after investigating I usually find out a whole lot more!

It is quite frustrating for me not to put my foot on the gas and make things go faster, however when I do, someone just gets run over.  

The great things take time!  

 My last blog I wrote about expectations and how destructive they can be when imposed by uninformed people.  I consider this more of the same. 

Ponder this however, “you first need a vision of Rome before it is built”... then you need a visionary to see it through with the passion and the persistence to pull it off over time.  

Rome also needs to be admired by others so they too can participate in the building of something great.

Are any of you involved in a project that will last beyond your generation?  It makes you think different.  You are no longer looking for that immediate gratification that fuels so much of our interest.  Interpretations and understandings will be tested by time and history. 

I watched my son learn to play a guitar and I was impressed that he never gave up.   Through the years I have watched him take interest in everything from Taekwondo to computer games.   I was reluctant to support the guitar however over time he understood that music was in his soul and worthy of the long term commitment.

Some folks say “never give up on the things you think about every day.”  It is often not an easy pursuit!  It is however in some cases the one thing you were put on this earth to do! 

Wouldn't it be ashamed to miss out on that gig?

I encourage all of you to go after your dreams and understand it may take more than one night to get them accomplished!

NobleOne

DANGER Expectations Ahead!

In 6^th grade I was told I was a disappointment by a teacher at Linkhorn Park Elementary School.  The year before that same teacher had the pleasure of teaching my older brother Richard.  You see, she had unrealistic expectations that I would be just like my brother. 

That moment occurred 45 years ago and I can see and feel it to this day.  I truly did not know how to respond. 

I hold the opinion that having expectations for yourself is much better than exercising those you may have for others. 

How many marriages and relationships fail as a result of expectations that will not or should not ever be met? Perhaps I would even extend that to expectations we all place on our son’s and daughter’s lives. 

Everyone has their own life to live and it’s damn tough enough.   When someone chooses to place expectations on us for one thing or another, while well intended, can destroy the journey.

William Shakespeare stated it very well, “expectation is the root of all heartbreak.”

In businesses over the years I have watched managers and owners inflict sales forecasts and matrix that could never be attained.  They would simply use old formulas that no longer apply to a changing environment.   

I love the wisdom of Wayne Dyer, “If you are always striving you are never arriving.”  No one can predict the future and we all know you can’t change the past.  The only cool place that you can make the magic happen is by observing what’s going on right now! 

I listen to Minute with Maxwell (John Maxwell) most mornings and interestingly enough his word yesterday was “expectation” and he told the story of an old man watching a young man fish.  He notices that the boy throws back all the big fish and only keeps the small ones.  When asked about this strange practice the boy told the old man that he only had a 7” frying pan.  The lesson is; don’t limit your own expectations go out and get a bigger frying pan! 

Just don’t use that ‘frying pan” to beat up on others!  

Keep your expectations to yourself and focus your energies on making the environment better for all folks to meet and exceed their own expectations! 

NobleOne

Being a Dad! (not the easiest of roles)

I have now been a Dad for over 21 years and still not convinced I did it right! 

My first decision on becoming a Dad was deciding whether or not it was the right thing to do!  My son had a 2% chance of surviving his own birth and it was up to me to allow him to try!  

Because of that decision my son took up his own fight and decided to beat the odds and grow up despite the odds and now faces the tough choices of becoming a man independent of his Dad.

My father and I were never what I would call close!  I loved and respected my Dad and appreciated his role in the world.  His generosity and love of his family allowed me to pursue whatever I felt capable of.  He was always there when I needed him and knowing that gave me confidence to grow up fairly independent.

 

My son Matt and I rarely have big father/son conversations.   I have had longer conversations with people I don’t know however my son knows who his Dad is and that he always has his back.   My preconceived notion of what our life would be never developed, however what did, suits me fine!

 

I have had the privilege of raising my son as well as several of his close friends that ended up in circumstances that were beyond their own control.   I love them all and do my best to help them when I can. 

   

I think great Dads as well as great sons and daughters come in all shapes in sizes.  Daily I get a chance to see my close friends becoming great Dads.   

Becoming a Dad truly is a big responsibility and my wish is that more would honor the gift!

Happy Father's Day to all the great Dads in this world. 

…and Matt I love you and being YOUR DAD has made me into the person I never expected to be!

NobleOne